People-Pleasing Mode: OFF

So many people cling to their childhood with feelings or memories that left them with the idea of being neglected. Perhaps, they felt they weren’t loved enough or properly. We have all been there. We are such emotional creatures when we are children. At least, I was. I was so emotional but also very pensive. I was a deep thinker at 3 years old. I stared into the trees, the sky, the floors, the colors or patterns on curtains and would daydream about being elsewhere. Daydreaming was my escape. Daydreaming gave me hope because I could envision a different life. Little did I know I was manifesting.

When I started doing the inner- work to find out why I said yes to everyone but myself, I remembered one incident that particularly scarred my emotional connection to self-awareness and freedom of expression for decades to come. I sat down by my parents and an elderly family member. I said I was bored. My father belted me several times simply because children are not supposed to say they are bored. At six years old, I had to learn to either internalize my thoughts and emotions or lie to avoid a beating like that ever again. 

When I began doing the work, I understood why I had (sometimes still have) trouble speaking up for myself. I can go from nonchalance to suddenly snapping over tiny details because I internalized a lot for a while. 

 I never used my childhood as an excuse for my actions but as an explanation. It was hard to denormalize people pleasing in my life. It was so hard to say yes when I wanted to say no. I used to be stuck in people-pleasing mode for almost three decades. Granted, I love helping people now more than ever, but I have instilled boundaries in my life that allow me to help when I can without sacrificing my mental health. 

They say health is wealth. I refuse to play games with my emotional well-being. If I am good for myself, I can be of service to others. This is why I love to spend time alone. It feels like my energy is recharged when I do so. I also love to start my day with a workout versus squeezing it in during the day. When I serve myself first, I am more equipped and prepared to say yes because I want to be of service to others without pressure. I now come from a place of wholeness and not people-pleasing mode. 

I get to be in an industry that helps men and women return to themselves without the trauma, without the noise, without the pains. 

I get to say no and yes without feeling guilty. I have empowered myself along the way, and I feel I must empower you. 

Believe it or not, saying no is not hard at all. How others react is their responsibility. You're in charge of your emotions. Protect them at all costs.